Art Institute

After four days on the rural road, we’re vacationing for a weekend in Chicago.  Yesterday we spent the morning at the Art Institute.  I was prepared to ignore the famous paintings for less crowded, and I’ll admit, more recherché offerings.  I even pronounced myself “bored” with Impressionism.  That lasted ten minutes.  The hits just kept on coming.  By the time I got to Monet’s London Bridge, any further resistance was futile, and I drowned.

So when we emerged to sunlight, and my loved ones pronounced themselves exhausted, it was perhaps inevitable that I would gravitate to the Riverfront, even without particularly meaning to.  Being new to Chicago, I only intended to wander around and look at buildings.  But even if a skyscraper is Michelangelo’s David, if you’re trying to view it from the adjacent sidewalk, all you see is the underside of its scrotum.  I kept seeking a wider vista.  Besides, I can’t help being a country lad, and no matter where, I will compulsively navigate to nature, even if it’s caged in concrete.  When I got to the algae-laden, sluggish water, my first reaction was, meh.  But I crossed to the far side, looked back to the skyline, then down at its reflection.  Increasingly mesmerized, I looked for the next half-hour.

It came to me that you best understand the soul of a monumental thing by seeing its reflection in water.  The most iconic photos of the Rockies are those mirrored in adjacent lakes.  But whereas the Tetons on Jenny Lake are best captured in the stillness of dawn, my refracted view of these skyscrapers came at midday, in a light breeze, further roiled by the gentle wakes of sightseeing boats.  One effect was to shatter the glass, to explode the rectangles, to render fantastically kinetic the static rectangles angles hulking above.  The other was to mix color and light in an infinite series of combinations.  The water I had thought of as “green” became every color. While the glass planes of the buildings reflected monochrome planes of tint, in the water they were like the tubes of paint becoming pointillistically mixed.  Except there wasn’t a palette wide enough to encompass the range, a brush fine enough to capture the delicate strokes.  Whereas the light on glass above glared and blinded, its water-spirit below was lustrous and luminous.  The river reflected, not the solid buildings themselves, but the thousands of evanescent souls living inside them.  My sense of solidity felt as shattered as the reflected buildings.  I thought: how impossibly, optimistically fragile is the concrete and steel.  No matter how we armor and encase ourselves, how we remain creatures of water.

Road Trip

We spent this morning driving through northern Illinois and Southern Wisconsin, on a college trip with Marcus.  I have always been a flyover guy when it came to this part of the country, so I’m a stranger to this landscape.  It’s beautiful, in a sorted sort of way.  Meted squares of coffee-colored soil, combed into straight rows of bright sleeping corn stubble.  All the rocks ploughed out long ago and stacked into piles at the corners.   Straight lines of alders, poplars, and bright yellow birches along the fencerows.  An occasional ancient spreading tree, standing alone.  White houses, red barns, and silver silos.  Weeds growing only where weeds may grow.  Straight ditchlines.   Streambanks allowed to meander, perhaps only because they were here first.  Ponds and lakes, ringed by cattails and hunting blinds.  Clumps of trees gathered at brief hills and narrow creek hollows, little patches of disorder that soon remember themselves and lapse back to prairie.  Dairy cattle.  A lone shepherding dog.  Geese.  Hawks.  Cranes.

The people, too, seem well-sorted.  Farming and railroad towns.  A matronly waitress in a sensible short haircut serves fried cheese curds to a rounded 60-year-old man clenching in his teeth an unlit cigar.  A nearby TV plays top-ten home fistfighting videos.   Just two blocks away is a college where the students stage a “Really Really Free Market” in their dorm, as an “alternative to capitalism.”  Recent campus graffiti, its wording judged to be racist and thus too inflammatory to print in the college newspaper, provokes this front page rejoinder: “Response to the blatant disregard for persons as illustrated by the hate crimes will be met in the best way [we] know how: with genuine, gritty, public, open and meaningful conversation about how to remind those around the campus and community that actions like this will not be tolerated.”   Back at our hotel this morning, an elderly man with bright blue eyes, suspenders and an oxygen tank eyes me silently in the lobby.  “College trip,” I hear him remark to his companion after we’ve walked past.  “Wanna know how I know?”  Yeah, I’ve got a fair guess as to how you know.

Still, my surface impressions are too easy.  Whenever I visit my cousins in West Texas, the land looks flat and empty from the state highway.  But when you’re in it, on foot, walking along the low caliche cliffs or under the pecan trees by the river, there are armadillos, rattlesnakes, wild turkeys, prehistoric gar that gaze at you from the green water.  Here, I can only imagine the wild private places I couldn’t see from today’s highway, the crazy volcanic hearts living inside those white houses and red barns, the terrifying wondrous thoughts leaking onto keyboards inside those brick dorms.   Marcus is hoping for a little wildness, after all.  In the 21st century, that’s an increasingly rare thing to find, and perhaps the upper Midwest is an odd place to look.   But landscapes and reputations can deceive, and I notice he’s getting to be a fair hunter.

Bootstraps

My mediation practice is still perking along.  If litigation is a team sport, mediation is a solo affair.  I get court-ordered referrals across four counties.  Last week took me to the furthest one, out in the north Denver suburbs between the oil refinery and the airport.  It’s a 90-minute bus-ride through places I’d driven past for years but never visited before, former farm and cattle towns swallowed a generation ago by swaths of indistinguishable tract housing and strip malls, then swallowed again by spreading poverty and industrial blight.  The bus is mostly empty: an Indian couple with a toddler in a stroller, looking lost, who ride only two blocks and then disembark, improbably, outside a car dealership; a girl with green hair who gets off at a Taco Bell; two tough-looking Latino youths with music so loud you can hear it out of their earbuds two seats away; the obligatory guy in the back, talking to himself because no one else will.

It gets me to thinking about the connections people depend on to feel alive, and that we all risk having fall away.  In this work I’ve met I met an undocumented mom fleeing abuse, leaving her kids behind, distrusting that the courts would help her get them back, and lacking a decent place for them to live if she did.  Another man faithfully, competently worked a tech job for years, got laid off the year before his retirement, then lost his house and marriage.  An upwardly-mobile couple divorced after being overwhelmed by the needs of their profoundly disabled child.  In each, a different loss of other, but a common loss of self.

Riding home, I’m thankful that the undocumented mom qualifies for Medicaid and sees a psychologist.  That the laid-off man gets unemployment and job training.  That the disabled child is included in her regular education classroom because of IDEA.  That even the guy talking to himself in the back of the bus knows the driver, says goodbye to him, and gets a friendly wave in response.   Politicians on the right refer to “entitlements.”  Those on the left speak of the “social safety net.”  Both sides speak primarily about money.   But I think these services also help preserve and restore the social web of self, which, when completely torn away, leaves us with no bootstraps left to pull.